Spider Man: The Lady Merc with the Mighty Girth
by Darth Adipose
Summary: While going on patrol to get his mind off a nasty Break up with Mary Jane. He has the misfortune of running into a woman in a deadpool costume who has is just as dangerous as her male counterpart. To make matters worse, she's portly, deadly and she has a crush on the web swinger a very VERY big crush. She's Lady Fatpool The Lady Merc with the Mighty Girth. but is there more to her?


**Summary: Alright I'll admit I mainly wrote this just to be silly so feel free to take it with a grain of salt if you want. I actually came up with the idea from a single panel featuring lady deadpool anyway take it for what you will**

 **A/N; Spider-man and deadpool are owned by Marvel**

Being Spider-man was a mixed bag of tricks, on some days it was awesome. You get to swing through new York, take on big baddies, and hang out with people that at one time were your idols. Other times however it really sucked mainly in the personal life category in this case it was with his dating life. He couldn't help but wonder if he really had the right to be surprised. Mary Jane was a girl that had plans in her life and having to deal with a superhero boyfriend with his super hero enemies was not one of them. Even fate it seemed was hitting him over the head with how bad of an idea it was. How many times had they broken up and got back together? How many times had it been teased that could make it work only for something to happen at the end? When Peter finally revealed the truth, it seemed like a good excuse as much as anything. It was time to move on for good this time.

Still, it hurt. First girlfriend dies indirectly because of you, and the second one gets put through absolute heck to the point she can't take it anymore. Peter couldn't help but shake his head at the frustration of it all.

"Man, why can't I get with a Spider-Gwen from some alternate timeline."

all of the sudden there was a buzzing on his police scanner.

"We got some fat girl in a Deadpool outfit holding up a gas station demanding info on Spidey, all units please respond."

said Spidey couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"Ok that's not something you here every day."

Spidey swung to the station that was being held up, sure enough there was a rather large woman both in stature and girth with a blonde ponytail wearing a rather tight fitting Deadpool costume. Ironically enough, she had her mask halfway up stuffing her face with Chimichangas.

"Well she certainly dedicated to the path I'll give her that." Spidey thought to himself.

He couldn't help but snicker as the woman talked.

"look *Chomp* all I'm wanting to know…mhamph…is where the Spider is that's all…."

the clerk rolled his eyes. "and as I've told you for the umpteenth time that Spider-Man doesn't come here. I wish he would. Are you going to pay for those by the way?"

"Oh yeah sure." the woman said getting a card out of her purse."

"wow, you actually pay for your food. Deadpool was not very great about that."

the Lady Deadpool looked up and smiled.

"Hey I got to offset my bad Karma points for what I'm about to do somehow."

"What you're about to do? What are you talking abou…?"

all of the sudden his spider sense went off and he found himself dodging a bullet that narrowly brushed passed him.

"Seriously? what did I do to you?"

"Nothing, but king fat head's paying me well for yours, sorry."

King Fat head, Spider-man rolled his eyes as he knew who that was referring to.

"Fisk huh, is it that time of the month again?"

Spider-man laid a punch only for this mysterious Lady Deadpool to disappear behind him.

"Ok so you are a Deadpool." Spider-man quipped as he pressed his attack, but ultimately she was as good at acrobatic dodging as she was teleporting. "Alternate Universe counterpart, Gender bent clone, obsessive mutant fangirl?"

"Nope, sorta I think, and meh?"

Spider-man couldn't help but be impressed by this woman's martial skills whoever she was, despite being rather hefty, she was surprisingly acrobatic. There was a trope for that but darn if he could not remember what it was.

"The terms Acrofatic." lady Deadpool blurted out.

"What?"

"That trope you're trying to think of, it's Acrofatic."

"How did…"

"I got deadpool's voices in my head too you know."

"Huh, I didn't know deadpools inner voices allowed him to rea…"

All of the sudden he felt the wind get knocked out of him as he felt the full weight of a banzai drop on his chest.

"nuugh…I know it's not polite to ask a lady this question, but how much do you weigh?"

"About 380 lbs, Why?"

Spider-man proceeded to push her through a window onto the outside sidewalk.

"So I'm dealing with a sumo wrestler."

"Sumo, Judo, mainly I'm just a fat girl in a costume."

Lady Deadpool proceeded to pull out her Katanas and started to swing. Once again he could not help but notice how much of a dead ringer (no pun intended) her style was to the merc with the mouth. the two were able to match each other blow for blow, and whoever she was she was a decent fighter. his costume could attest to that as well as it got thinly cut.

"Too close too close too close too close"

Lady Deadpool could not help but giggle.

"What's a matter Spidey? Too much woman for you to Hand….oompf!"

The Merc with Girth fell to the floor as she found herself tripped up by webbing. Now it was spider-man's turn to be on top of her.

"Seriously, is all you have is self-deprecating fat jokes?"

"Oh come on, how much time do you spend being sarcastic in your battles?"

"Eh, fair point."

All of the sudden, Spidey felt a sharp stabbing pain in his leg.

"NARRGH!"

The costumed hero pulled out what appeared to be some kind of syringe all of the sudden his vision started to blur as he felt himself become Dizzy.

"Nurgg, wh-what did you do to me."

Once again Lady Deadpool giggled.

"Pleasant dreams Spider-man."

the young hero collaped to the ground feeling the Katana that was pressed against his neck.'

"Who are you?"

The woman grinned.

"Well, there is already a Lady Deadpool, but I like the name Lady Fatpool."

TO BE CONTINUED

 **A/N: before anyone freaks out. Spider-man losing was due to getting sucker punched and severely underestimating Lady Fatpool as we will call her. anyway don't forget to R & R please & thank you**.


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